It's a Boulder, Not a Bullet

You just spent all week studying for a test that you absolutely cannot fail.  The test comes around, and you realize you were studying all of the wrong material.  You freeze as your mind blanks out.  You can't remember a thing.  You just posted on your Facebook that you're going to rock this test out of the world.  You get a 58% after losing several precious hours of sleep the week before to study.  You fall behind for the rest of the semester, you barely pass the class.  You feel miserable.  This class was the foundation to your major. We all have something that we have to carry around with us.  It's different for every person, but it's all similar at the same time.   Maybe you suffer from depression or anxiety.  Maybe you have a hard time keeping your mood under control. Maybe it's a learning disability. Or perhaps, you have an illness you always have to deal with.  It slows you down.  That's my weakness.  Ever since I was 14, I have been going into doctors, being prodded by needles for blood-work and hooked up to machines for various other scanning, while trying to find out what has been giving me problems.  At the age of 17 on September 19, 2012 after spending a very miserable night in the ER, the doctors finally came to a conclusion: Fibromyalgia.  It's a chronic illness that affects my body and the way my nerves communicate with my brain. I am almost always in pain of some sort, and on top of that, my immune system is weakened as well.  I get nauseous very easily and I get frequent migraines.  Some days, I can't even move without feeling severe pain.  Even a slight breeze can seem painful.  Some days, I don't even want to wear clothes, because it seems like it's too much weight for my body to bear.
It's challenging.  It slows me down, but it doesn't stop me.  I always find my motivation to move forward.  What about you?  What keeps you moving forward?  What is that drive in your life?

I have several things that keep me forward.  One, for instance, as common as this answer is, there's a reason for it.   My Father in Heaven. "When God is your reason to live, you'll never have a reason to quit."  My second reason is my family.  I want to keep my parents proud and I want to set a good example to my three younger siblings.  They mean the world to me, and one day, when they are older and living on their own, I want to see them strong and successful.

I've come to learn in the past while we may all have something that slows us down or puts a damper on our life, we all can move forward.  Think back to a trial you had perhaps a few years back.  You're here now, right?  It was indeed miserable, and you may still be suffering.  But it's added character, no?  I believe and know that God will never give a person more than what they can handle in life, no matter how hard it may seem at the time.  Everything has a purpose.  So do you.  

What is Charity?

Charity.  We have all heard of the word.  What first comes to mind? Some people may quickly think of Good Will, Savers, D.I, or the Salvation Army.  Some will think of the act of lending a hand to a neighbor, or donating food to a local food drive.  Some think of the pure love of Christ. All of these thoughts are correct!   What has charity done for you in life?
Why is my second post on my first blog about charity?  It's a big role in what inspired me to start blogging!  I was sitting in church, and someone was giving a talk about charity, and it's roll in life.   One of the things she said, hit a spark in my mind, and I had a flood of memories come to me!  It was right then when I realized at how much charity I have seen in my life.  I decided right then that it would be a great idea to share some of these experiences with others.

When I was younger, perhaps around age 6 or 7, I started paying more attention to what was happening around me.  My mom was pregnant at the time, and we were living in a wonderful, new neighborhood.  I'd be sitting inside, watching a movie or playing a game with my brother, and the doorbell would ring.  I'd sprint to the door with excitement, like most kids I know of would do.  There would be someone standing there, usually a mother/grandmother with a 9x13 dish covered in aluminum foil.  There would be a separate bowl with her, having rolls or cookies in it.  The house was suddenly filled with the smell of food.  I hadn't thought about the fact that dinner hadn't been made at my home yet. Soon I came to the conclusion that the food in the dish was for my family that night, as an act of gratitude from a caring neighbor.  We sat down as a family at the table and dug in.  Shepherds Pie.  Oh, very exciting.  I loved the potatoes with the cheese melted right on.  I ignored the peas and lima-beans in the bottom veggie mix, but nevertheless, I was happy.

My other brother was born some odd while later.  Things were going smoothly in the home, until one day a neighbor showed up, and had my brother and I rush into her vehicle for security.  I had no clue what was going on.  I was in a panic.  Where were my parents? Why did my back-door neighbor show up to suddenly babysit me?  I wasn't told I was going to be watched?  Before I knew it, an ambulance showed up at my house.  Mom was being carried outside.  Oh no!  What happened?!  I was crying out of confusion.   Mom was rushed to the hospital.  She had a blood clot in her lung, also known as a pulmonary embolism.  According to the doctor, due to the size of the clot, she shouldn't have survived.  The fact she was still alive when she reached the hospital was impressive.  The fact that she lived through the whole experience is a blessing from Heaven.  Once again, neighbors were coming out of their way to help my family.  We had food brought to us, and other small random goods.  It was a sign of care.  No one was asked to do this.  It was all a job of service.

Several years later, after my sister was born, my mom was very sick. She had a massive tumor growing inside of her.  She would black out all the time, and wasn't around often to take care of me and my siblings.  My dad was at work a lot, so he wasn't around too often either.  Another hard thing was the fact that we lived in the country-side of Texas, where houses were farther apart, and the families that knew my family well were even in separate towns.  I, at the age of 10, was spending a lot of my "free-time" when I wasn't at school taking care of my siblings, who were 8, 3, and 2.  It was a pain in the butt.  Can you guess where this is going?  Probably.  Once again, family friends went out of their way to come help my family.  Even if it included driving my mom to the Hospital, and arriving with treats, and simply being there for us, showing that they cared.  A few months later, the families also helped my family move back to Utah at last minutes notice.

Years passed by again, and of course my family continued to see charity around every corner.  Christmas time would roll around and my family was in quite a financial crisis after the divorce.  We noticed that we were receiving a lot of Secret Santa's and donations of many sorts.  I was a little embarrassed for a bit.  "Oh come on, we are getting this because we are poor.."  so on and so forth.  But it took me a realize that that statement was selfish.  It's charity around the corner again!  It's love, care, and simply showing others around you that they care!

It has taken me a few years to realize how much charity and love from others has impacted my life.  Sometimes I feel like I was taking it for granted.  I appreciate it so much, and I hope to go on through life serving others.  I want to continue sharing the love and kindness I have received in my life, and I encourage you to do the same as well!

Who am I?

Warm, soft, loving, and occasionally anti-social.  I promise you, I'm not really a cat in disguise. (Even though I absolutely love cats with all my heart) But really, what makes me unique?  I stand out--I definitely know I do.  Sometimes not in the way I always want, but we all have a little bit of that in us, don't we?

In life, we have all had trials.  It's a big part that defines us.   I'd never go back and change a thing, no matter how hard that sounds.  But more than the trials define us.  How have I become me?  I may as well start from the beginning!  

It's late February, matter of fact, it's the 28th--the end of the month.  Here's my big day,  I'm going to enter the worl--wait, what?  Where is she?  Mom's not dilating! When will she come? March 1st rolls along.  Mom's starting to dilate.  The doctor won't help mom, she looks too young to be having a child.  She was 20, which seems reasonable to me.  Mom start's going through labor; the water doesn't break.  Next week rolls around, still dilated--and still no broken water.  Another week rolls by.  Two weeks of labor!  Finally, on March 13 a nurse breaks mom's water.  I enter the world, barely.

 The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and I'm lucky I made it.  A C-Section should have been done.  The method of entering the world left me with cuts on my cheekbones, but don't worry, I recovered.  Winter Jade Jones had now, finally, entered the world.  I was born in Provo, Utah.   I was living in Orem, Utah for the first few months of my life at one of my grandparents.  After a few months I moved to my maternal grandparents home, on the other side of Orem.  A while passed, and I moved back to my paternal grandparents.  I lived there until around the age of 4, and once again, I moved back to the maternal grandparents.  I started kindergarten at the age of 5 at Orchard Elementary.  That lasted about three months.  My great grandfather, who lived in Provo, passed away.  My parents moved into his home to clean it up and prepare it to be sold.  I spent the winter that year at Canyon Crest Elementary.  I had a little brother, at this time, Ryan.  He's two and a half years younger than me.  The house was soon ready, and in the meantime, a home was being built in Santaquin, Utah, about ready for my family to move in.  All of the houses on the block were brand new, as well.  Most of them were still being built, my home was the third to be finished on the street.  While moving in, a family was checking out the progress of their home.  They had a daughter just a year younger than me.   Her and I got along right from the start. She also had a seasonal name--Summer.  She became my best friend through my childhood.  After moving in, I finished the remaining part of my kindergarten year at Santaquin Elementary.  I also attended first grade there.  In the meantime, a new elementary school was built, so by the time second grade rolled around, I was in a different school again.  I remained in this school, Spring Lake Elementary.  I'm Seven years old now.  One of the most exciting things happened ever.  I got another little brother, Keith.

Oh, he is very dear to me.  Now the little four member family had expanded to five.  A few months passed, and I turned 8.  A few weeks later I was baptized into the Church of Latter-Day Saints of Jesus Christ (LDS Church).  Another year passed, and in February, I finally got a sister!  Lily came into the family and I love her to death.  She's also the last one. After a surgery a few years later due to a tumor the size of a grapefruit, my mom was no longer able to have children.  At this point, the family had moved to a small town, Grandview, Texas.  It's right between Waco and Forth Worth.  I had made one small move before I came to Texas, back to a grandparents home in Orem.  There was a split in my family.  Things got difficult for a bit.  I attended Suncrest Elementary for half of my fourth grade year and the first few months of my fifth grade year.  The family got back together and that's when we went to Texas. I was now attending Grandview Intermediate (A school for the grades between 3-5).  This is where life became really challenging, but that's for a different post.  Long story short, the family ended up going through a divorce.  Me, my siblings, and my mom, moved back to Orem and lived with my maternal grandparents.  It was now 2007 and I was barely starting 7th grade.  I started going to CanyonView Junior High.  Here is where I've made some life-long friends.  (Most of them are guys, but that doesn't matter!) I had gone through a lot of things in the previous years.  I was very lost, and my friends helped keep me here.  Many things happened in Junior High.  I got my first kiss, first "boyfriend," caused all sorts of drama, and learned a passion for music.  So here it is, two weeks before the end of 8th grade, and more things happened, causing me to move.. again!  But this was the worst move of them all.  There was nowhere to go!  It was me and my siblings with my mom living with all of our belongings in our van.  Nowhere to go, and no money.  My mom was dating again, and met the most wonderful man ever.  I'm glad I can now call him my father.  We visited his place often, and when we weren't at his place, we were riding our bikes/skateboards in the back of the Sams Club parking-lot in Provo. After a few weeks, and with some help, my family was able to move to a small condo in Provo.  I started attending Provo High School later that fall.  My mom got married, and I got two step-siblings to add to the family. Many things happened, and a few years passed. I stopped attending classes in my 10th grade year for many reasons.  I was being bullied, the classes were too easy, and I was depressed.  I got my GED (General Education Diploma) later that fall, and started attending UVU in Orem.  I was 16, and shortly Turned 17 after the semester started.  I was studying Psychology.  Because of my childhood, it fascinated me.  After taking the class, I lost interest in the field.  I took a break from UVU, and worked for the summer. It was an amazing job! I was at Scofield Scout camp in the kitchen. I got back, started working at Wendy's, and instead of returning to UVU, I went to UCMT in Lindon, Utah, for Massage Therapy.  I graduated in March 2013, with a sudden new passion for Massage Therapy.  My last day was on my Birthday. I moved out of the parents home a few weeks later, back to Orem.  I wasn't attending school at the time, nor was I working in massage.  But I was working for a living, while settling in.  A few months later, in late August, I had a few very traumatic things happen and it caused me to move last notice.

And here I am now.  It's Mid-September of 2013, living back in Provo.  I'm debating going back to UVU to study Biology in the Spring.  But in the meantime, I'm going to continue working, dating, exploring, and finding out who I am.

I'm starting this blog for many reasons.  I have posts I want to make that I hope will be inspiring to some, and some of them may be just for my own reference for when I'm down.  I'm finding that doing things like blogging can be therapeutic.  I hope this will inspire me to do more.  Someone always starts somewhere, and I may as well start right here, right now.  Thank you for reading! It means a lot to me.  I have more posts to come!